Senior Living: Good conversations are a balm for the soul

Did you ever have the desire to listen in on someone’s conversation? If so, here is your chance to listen in on some of mine. Meet my friends — mostly in their 90s, some younger — and hear what we have to say. These mostly phone conversations stave off loneliness and let me keep in touch with what is going on in their lives. Here they are.

HARRY. He is a fellow writer who enjoys a nice lifestyle with homes in Montreal and Florida. While his wife is active and computer savvy, Harry is more the stay-at-home type and does not use a computer. A voracious reader, he visits bookstores and libraries to read up on topics ranging from outer space to classical music. We have fun discussing these and more up-to-date topics during our frequent conversations.

GABY. She’s one of my most frequent callers whom I have known for years, but I still have to meet her in person (I got to know her through a mutual friend who is a priest). Now in her late 80s, this dynamic lady manages an ethnic parish as a volunteer, as well as her suburban home. I admire the way she drives to the downtown church, facing Montreal traffic, street closures and construction. Gaby also loves working in her garden and tells me tales of squirrels and tulip bulbs and other gardening woes I know nothing about.

Another gardening expert is my friend LINDA. Now in her early 90a and a fairly recent widow, she has a suburban garden that produces plenty of herbs and vegetables that go into the freezer for winter meals. I admire her for managing house and garden alone and keeping her cheerfulness and British composure under all circumstances. Whenever I have a problem, she is ready with thoughtful advice.

On a less cheerful note are the diminishing calls from my friend STAN, whom I met in church. Now in his 70s, he is struggling with Alzheimer’s disease. I am glad to hear that he is still active, participating in Alzheimer’s support groups.

My connection to my native land, Hungary, besides through my relatives, is my friend ERMA. In her 80s and mostly housebound, she speaks daily via Messenger to her sister in Budapest and informs me of the weather and other goings-on there. We also discuss mutual experiences on our Montreal paratransit trips. Most importantly, we compare notes on our eyesight as we both suffer and are being treated for AMD (age-related macular degeneration). Just knowing someone is in the same boat, as it were, makes things easier to bear.

THE MOVERS. For several of my friends, “aging in place” was no option. Health issues forced them to leave their houses or apartments and move into a residence. One of them is MOIRA, who sold her house and moved into a nice residence. While still struggling with the after-effects of a recent fall, she says that she enjoys her surroundings, taking daily walks in the nearby park and attending lectures. I also appreciate her comments on my latest column.

Two other friends, NORA and BEA, also had to leave their nice apartments in downtown Montreal due to health concerns. The two lifelong friends, who both held top positions in their profession, now live in a smart private residence. While complaining about losing their once-precious lifestyle, they tell me that they enjoy the nice surroundings, being served tasty meals and still having each other’s company.

Last but not least on a cheerful note is my friend PAM. Several years my junior, Pam still plays a game of tennis, has recently been on an Alaska cruise, attends the theatre and enjoys restaurant meals. I love listening to her latest activities. Pam is also a fighter and is always busy fighting for a person or cause she finds important. While personal loss and health issues have not avoided her, she manages to stay cheerful and positive. Talking to Pam is like a breath of fresh air.

I hope you enjoyed meeting my friends and that they will keep on brightening my days.

— Alice Lukacs writes the Life in the 90s column